It's OK ... You're Learning
Once, while babysitting a girl we’ll call M, I was given profound words of wisdom. M was the most brilliant 6 year old I have met.
She loved to play card games, and I obliged. With one card game in particular, M explained the rules. However, I could not seem to grasp them. For lack of better judgment, I became frustrated to be a mid-20s woman being stumped by a children’s card game.
In my exasperation, I said, “I’m so stupid.”
M looked at me for a long time before she said, “you’re not stupid, you’re learning.” That tiny human gifted me with a piece of wisdom I will carry with me for the rest of my life. We are all learning every single day. We just need to live with our ears and eyes wide open.
It is a rarity for someone amazing the first time they try something.. Even if they are, such a coincidence can often be dwindled to beginner’s luck. But imagine all the things we prevent ourselves from doing by believing we are “not good enough.”
I tell you the game story because when Misty shared an experience she had with a gorgeous friend/client (whom we’ll call B), I wanted to hug her and say, “you’re not stupid (photogenic), you’re learning.” She was just learning how to be comfortable in front of the camera. (And Misty in her early stages was also still earning critical experience.)
B is one of those effortlessly beautiful people who turns heads wherever she goes. Even with B’s naturally dazzling looks, Misty could not seem to capture B’s beauty. We were given a heads up 22 years ago when we first started working with this former Six Flags dancer. Of course, Misty didn’t believe B… until she did. Nope, her beauty was not reflected in the final image.
The reality is, we could all claim “awkward in front of the camera.” And it wouldn’t be wrong. It takes a lot of tweaking to get just the right angle, capture people in the right light, ultimately revealing them in the way others see them.
Let’s Take 5 to share two examples:
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How many pictures does an influencer take before they land on one they are willing to post? I don’t know either, but I promise it’s more than 10.
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Unless you consistently smile, raise your hand if you’ve ever despised a candid shot of yourself? Hmmmm… being caught in the moment can either be the most flattering (no time to think about it) or the most obnoxious (caught with food in your mouth).
Ok, back to regularly scheduled programming. By definition, it seemed B was correct. The team was always able to get “good enough” shots of B with her family and/or just her girls, however “good enough” is not “good enough” for PBMIsty.
There was no rest for the weary. BTW, Misty is a slow-learner (self proclaimed, I am not talking behind my boss’s back).
One day, frustrated with John Michael, Misty’s son for not genuinely smiling for the camera, John Michael informed Misty. “I cannot smile on command. You need to entertain me.”
“Hmmm… why not,” she thought. “I can.”
Three things are happening here.
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In John Michael’s case, he didn’t want to be taking his picture in the first place, so she needed to give him something to smile about.
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Now, in hindsight, Misty’s realized why it took the “Dallas Child” staff more than hour to get one cover shot of John Michael when he was 5. He was excited to get his picture taken, however they had him holding a soccer ball. He doesn’t like soccer, his passion is basketball.
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In B’s case, it’s an uneasiness in front of the camera, which is usually a lack in self confidence. “She’s stunning,” you may say. While that may be true, people are their harshest critic.
Back to B. She was essentially overcompensating for the belief that she was not photogenic, which caused her to become tense. Tension does not equate to beautifully genuine faces.
That was in the beginning stages of our 22 years in the business. The PBMIsty team is now known for making people feel special, detecting tension, lean in to listen to understand why people don’t like pictures of themselves. Our team takes pride on flipping the “not photogenic script,” to the point that even the most apprehensive of clients leave with a smile on their faces, a “That wasn’t so bad” or even “That was a lot of fun.” And, most importantly, they leave with final images they are proud to post and share.
It’s important to remember the old saying, “practice makes perfect.”
So next time anyone feels they are not good at something, or are not photogenic, remember you are learning.
Shall we get this photography party started? Https://PhotographyByMisty.com
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